People say I’m not fat, I say I am. I could be thinner… a lot thinner. So I need to start a diet.
I don’t even know where to start…
I know that I am going to try to avoid chocolate as much as possible before competition. Sigh, no more fudge rounds for lunch. No more cookies… I don’t even want to think about it.
And maybe eat more fruits and vegetables. Should I avoid meat? Will being a vegetarian make you lose body fat? I don’t know if I can even do that… I absolutely love steak.
I am getting a physical for soccer… soon. I am going to my doctor to get mine, not through the school. The school’s physicals are shit.
They don’t even help you if you have a problem or not. The last time I went I told them, “I tore the ligaments in my right hip in track…”; they told me to squat, so I did… and then they tell me, “Yup, you tore them.. but it looks like they healed very nicely… go to the next station.” What in the fuck? Then, at the next station I told them I had problems with my ankles… and without even looking at them they told me to wear a brace. No shit… I always wear my braces… I was looking for maybe, something that I can do to help them when they hurt. Anything… not, “Just wear a brace.”
Oh well… anyway, at my physical I am going to ask for my BMI and body fat percentage. I am striving for a 19 BMI and a 22% body fat percent before the competition... and plan to keep that for soccer also.
It’s already been an exhausting weekend… I need to get out of caring what other people think… I need to stop talking so negative. I need to be happy! So I think I’ll start now.
I don’t care if I’m called a psycho bitch anymore… they’re only making fun of the smart, funny, pretty, and thin girl. Maybe… it’s jealousy? So what I got dumped… twice. Those two people made the biggest mistake of their lives; they don’t know that now… but they will later. So what I don’t have a boyfriend at the moment… that doesn’t mean guys don’t like me. It means I am waiting for someone that actually LOVES me. And, at least I’m not hanging all over guys constantly… I don’t look like a whore like half the girls at school.
That… took a lot out of me. I don’t ever talk that positive about myself.
Until another day…
~Never Miss America