I've started my diet...

Published on May 25, 2005 By never-miss-america In Personal Relationships

The reason I have started this diet?

One, for competition…

The other… because apparently, my personality repels every fucking guy I have ever come to care for. So since I cannot attract a guy with my smart, funny, talented personality… I had better have a nice body to make up for it.

Besides, is there even ONE fucking guy out there who cares about who a person really is? Or does every single guy play a stupid little “Oh, I love you so much” game just to be physical with her? Just to have his fucking “make-out time”. Am I the only woman out there who is fed up with this shit?

And to make things go even better: when the woman speaks her concerns (valid concerns)… she is just fucked up from that point on because the “man” in the relationship really never gave a fuck what she thought and dumped her. He didn’t want to deal with it… he was too much of a fucking pussy to work things out. He got what he wanted out of the deal, all the free make-out sessions and the expensive “bling”… and for follow up he had 5 other girls to make up for the one he abandoned. He is living the GOOD life now.

What a sweet little mother-fucker, right?

And just to make it even better, he goes back with his ex-girlfriend. Apparently, he never got enough of her while we were going out… I mean, I barely saw him at band camp because they were always together. Now, am I allowed to be suspicious?

That was a little off topic…

Maybe since I can’t win a guy with my personality… I might as well get one with my body. Apparently that’s all I’m good for anyway.

Why bother caring anymore?

~Never Miss America

Comments

Zoologist03

on May 25, 2005

So since I cannot attract a guy with my smart, funny, talented personality…

You can...and you have if you'd open your eyes.

Besides, is there even ONE fucking guy out there who cares about who a person really is?

Oh...there's me at the very least. I can't be with someone who only has a pretty face...there has to be more.

Why? Why do you say things like this? You are beautiful. You don't need to change anything about yourself. Not only that you are smart, funny, and quite talented. You are a treasure for any guy.

What makes you start thinking like this? Why do you think that you are not good enough? You have to have more confidence in yourself than this....I really hope you aren't believing some of the shit you've just written here.

~Zoo

KarmaGirl

on May 26, 2005

I hope you don't talk that way in person.....unless, of course, you are a sailor...

Texas Wahine

on May 26, 2005

Sam: I don't want to sound condescending, please don't take this that way.

High School relationships generally do not fare well. Your break-up several months ago has obviously been devastating for you, and believe it or not, I can understand how you feel. I've been through some very rough stuff in my relationship this year as well.

The thing that I've noticed is that you've yet to have any healing take place. You're stuck. And it hurts like hell to live that way. It's torture.

It seems that you've taken your feelings of anger and betrayal and hurt and turned them inward and directed them at yourself, which is a common response. However, it's not healthy, and it's turning what should be a mostly light-hearted time of memories (High School) into a seething time of trauma and self-abuse.

Counseling can really help with this. Your school counselor is a good place to start, but he or she may not give credence to the depth and gravity of what you're feeling, so you may have to continue looking until you find a professional you feel comfortable with.

I went to counseling alone for a while during this past year and am now going to counseling along with my husband, and it is so helpful. It feels good to vocalize hurts and concerns (and joys) to a non-judgmental third party, and a good counselor will affirm you and give you tools for dealing with the emotions and stress you're experiencing.

Because of what I know of you on JU, I have grown to like you and see a lot of potential in you, and so it worries me when I read blogs like this. I really want to see you enjoying life and recognizing your own value. I'm just words on a screen, so what I say may go completely ignored, but I hope it won't.

Best wishes.

Zoologist03

on May 26, 2005

Tex: You're absolutely right...about everything. You amaze me, it sounds like you were right here with us.

~Zoo

just john

on May 26, 2005

High School was such a joke for me. I did let it get to me then. I even carried the baggage around for a few years after that. I was a geek (still am) and a "band nerd". I wore those titles around like a badge of shame, so much that I quit the band my senior year just to avoid another year of the stigma associated. I didn't have your exact problem but for a guy it was just as bad. I didn't start really growing until I was 17. I was skinny. Like anorexic skinny and short. My nickname (taunt) was smurf. I really let all of that stuff get to me. I have to say that after attending my 10 year reunion, I was not the same guy they taunted then. I am a confident well adjusted adult. I am stronger for what I went through.

I know it seems like every guy in your scope is incapable of seeing through an exterior. That's mostly because guys that age are superficial (not all of them but the majority).

I say to you if a diet will make you feel better about yourself, go for it. If you are doing it to lure some guy who wont matter in 10 years, save the effort.

It was a wonderful thing to be able to walk into my reunion and realize that all of those people who held me back, really didn't matter all that much.

Good luck in your choice and let your self image dictate who you are.

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