Don’t you stupid bitches kid yourselves. I am sick and tired of people saying, “You’re beautiful, and you don’t need to be on a diet.” You know what? You are not the one who was abandoned… not knowing what you did wrong! You were never in my shoes, and until you are abandoned by someone you love… you never fucking will be!!
Then, every morning when you stare at your scarred body… you will wish the person who drove you to that to die and rot in hell. Until then… you will never understand how I feel.
I have worn makeup everyday to school since the sixth grade… I wore it all through band camp my freshman year, but not my sophomore band camp (because I thought, wow, someone that actually likes my personality and not my face! Well, I was a stupid mother fucking bitch for believing that.) Well… I am not pretty, even though I wish I was.
I have been conscious about my figure forever… and you know what? Every fucking guy tends to think that thin, skinny, blonde girls are the way to go. I will never be blond, I will never be tall, so the only way I have to go is to be thin. And if starving myself is how I get there… then I will do it. I am on a 1500 calorie a day diet with weightlifting and dancing as my cardio. People wonder why I am so pissed all the time… you try to have a nasty protein drink every day for breakfast.
I have my bellybutton pierced…. Whoo! Let’s everyone make a big deal about it! You know what? I have pierced it myself three times… and with no numbing. I have taken care of it so there is no infection. Try that you stupid bitches.
I am having a breast augmentation when I’m older. Ha- this is coming from the person who said that plastic surgery is not needed and you need to just be yourself. Well… I changed my mind… I need to have a little more chest to attract a man because apparently, personality doesn’t cut it anymore… it’s all in the ta-ta’s.
No guy will ever fall in love with my personality… so if I have a body, maybe I can have a guy stay around a little while longer.
People don’t understand what pressure I have… so, when people look at my scars and then turn their heads and walk away because I said I did it myself, I get kinda pissed. They don’t know what it’s like…
I am so tired.
~Never Miss America